The most dangerous thing about researching something you’ve got a passion for is that you keep finding amazing things and falling in love with them. And everything is for sale.
While mass marketing and absent minded materialism are against the NeoVaudeville code, nurturing the really often handcrafted and artistic inqenuity of your fellow artists is most definitely encouraged.
Especially if you are offering something of your own artistry for sale – you’re a fraud of sorts unless you’re reinvesting back into the continued development of the shared aesthetic.
So… I’ve found as my research heats up again in these last laps before my presentation debut, I’ve started to buy things.
I will run out of money very fast so it’s not exactly a crisis. Buying things used to be an ordinary part of life… before recession pay cuts at the day job, etc. Indeed, I’ve forgotten how good it feels to spend even the smallest amounts on the magical things that make one’s own sanctuary a place where escaping from the ugliness in the world is possible.
It feels really good. So now I’m panicking. What art of my own can I sell so I can afford to buy other people’s art?
This week I ordered a limited edition Tina Imel print of a Victorian cat using snuff that I’ve had my eye on for a long time.
Today I picked uo two bottles of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.  Arachnina: the Spider Girl is from the Carnivale Diabolique collection. Duh. And Violet Ray is from the Phoenix Steamworks collection. Both I can present during my presentation in show and tell. I’m going to be wearing the costume pieces I bought for my promo photo shoot, doing a sort of one woman show meets lecture kind of show. So why not this bit about my inability to resist the temptation.
After all I’m not just going to be up there talking about these things from a cold academic viewpoint.
And I’m just as much of a sucker as any Barnum victim.
Oh, I’ve also succumbed to the temptation of DIY. For a long time I’ve been happy with my words and photographs but lately, it’s occured to me how easy it is to make some of these beautiful things I can’t justify buying ready to wear from artisans on my budget. I spent what amounts to a small fortune in single mom income terms this weekend at the craft store buying jewelry making supplies. My Etsy shopping car is overflowing with amazing beads and filigrees and charms, cameos, brass and silver and copper fixtures. They’re so cheap … individually, but when I click that checkout button, lots of modest bills are going to add up in my Pay Pal account to a sum that makes my checkbook quake.
It’s OK. We’re going to make it through this.
It may have been easier when the only things to be bought were ugly and undesirable. But it wasn’t nearly as inspired.