excerpt from Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang:
“(Rejection) involves another person saying ‘no’ to us, often in favor of someone else, and often face to face. Rejection means that we wanted someone to believe in us, but they didn’t. That we wanted someone to like us, but they didn’t. We wanted them to see what we see and to think how we think and instead they disagreed and judged our way of looking at the world as inferior. That feels deeply personal to a lot of us. It doesn’t just feel like a rejection of our request, but also of our character, looks, ability, intelligence, personality, culture or beliefs. Even if the person rejecting our request doesn’t mean for his or her ‘no’ to feel personal, it’s going to. Rejection is an inherently unequal exchange between the rejecter and the rejectee and it affects the latter much more than the former.
When we experience rejection, we can’t easily blame the economy, the market or other people. If we can’t deal with it in a healthy manner, we are left with two unhealthy choices. If we believe we deserve the rejection, we blame ourselves and get flooded with feelings of shame and ineptitude. If we believe the rejection is unjust or undeserved, we blame the person and get consumed by feelings of anger and revenge.”
I’m listening to the audiobook. Hoping there are chapters coming up that will provide answers on how to deal in a healthy manner. 😉 -ag