If you asked, I’m sure he’d say I’m better off
now
without him
again.

I did nothing wrong, he assured,
after the break-up text.
Out of nowhere:
Please leave me alone.

Later: It’s mental illness.
His words, not mine.
I would have said, “sick in the head.”

Sure, I’m better off.
*Marked safe from inhibited narcissists today.*
But he doesn’t have to sit across the table
from Grandma when she asks,
with that sly little grin,
“How’s your man?”
Marrying well was the most important thing
anyone was going to let her do in life.
(That, and raising six boys.)

She’d never say an unkind word but
she doesn’t want to hear about the art
or my awkward and exhausted career.

She must think what a shame I had to do all that.
Raising the girls by myself after picking out a bum.
Twenty years divorced and couldn’t find a man to take care of me.

Even when she admires my outfit,
compliments how well I look,
she can see it’s too late.
I let my last chance slip away.

-ag
24 Sept. 2023

After a long day. 25 Aug. 2023.