It wasn’t until after chatting with Miranda on the phone from L.A. for a good while Tuesday night that I realized the a connection between her studies and mine.
Her paper about three female artists grouped with the surrealists that didn’t necessarily want to be labeled… To have been a teenager when women got the vote in America and England, in a decade when women attempted to live independently when they hadn’t insisted before … on pursuing their own dreams, on not getting married, etc. How slow change is to come even as we are watching it unfold. How our art is the only place where we have real freedom. And how even then our vision is limited by our ability, our skills to express it.
I had just ordered a 1982 play by Sheila Yeger titled “Self-Portrait” about the artist Gwen John, after reading about it in Stephen Jeffreys’ book Playwrighting: Structure, Character, How and What to Write. I often bookmark intriguing scripts when I hear about them but I rarely order them immediately. This one is relatively rare. It will cost you $40 or so used from an American bookseller. So I ordered it at a fraction of that price directly from the publisher in England.
I’ve only had a chance to glimpse through the pages … a good enough excuse to stop working for the day and take the script upstairs to bed.
The more time I spend alone, the more I long for theatre. The more virtual readings I sign up for online and the more inclined I am to finish my writing projects and think about applying for full-time professor positions or that dream ph. D. Moving will be difficult but it’s not impossible anymore. My studies are saving me right now. They will not leave me; I can only let myself down if I too tired or defeated. I worry about not having the ambition to get my creative work out there in front of people but I feel certain I am supposed to continue in academia. The work is the only thing that makes sense to me right now. It’s what is keeping me going. One way or another I need to figure out how to make it sustainable. -ag